What is the best way to do Dawah, in this world of today, that is all but islamic?
How can a muslim , living in a world full of lust and materialistic values be able to spread out the truth , that is Islam. In todays world whatever Islam prohibits exclusively , the media plays its role in glorifying it, as much as they can. They represent the worst of sins to be something that people should not only accept but follow (despite their negative consequences, that are never mentioned). for example: 1)alcoholism is the root of many evils, nobody can deny its worse side effects. But everybody seems to overlook all of its social, biological, mental and other impacts it has created over the past few decades. 2)Haya or modesty is not to be found anywhere on any channel. Its considered modern and open minded to let women decide ,what to wear and how much to cover up their bodies, this leaves us with the world of today where individuals are coerced subliminally to think of sex and other such vices, without ever considering its consequences. 3)Music : it feels really sad to see people really indulging themselves into such worldly activities. It is recent study that shows how subliminal messages can be hidden in the music tracks that influence the brain and cause an individual to even kill people.(I refer to the Hashemsfilms initial episodes) 4)interest based economic system has finally played its well thought out role of destabilizing the whole American economy. Other countries that have already fallen prey to this heinous form of money management include virtually all nations of the world that are dependent on the money of the World Bank to maintain their economic survival. 5)Jihad is now considered to be the most misrepresented word . It means literally "to struggle in the way of Allah", but the western media has succeeded to make it synonymous with the oftly stated term "Holy war". Thus supporting their baseless claim that Islam is THE root cause of all the frustrations occurring all over the world.(which is obviously furthest from the truth) 6)the western media tries its very best to support and propagate baseless claims regarding Islam.some of them being: i- Islam was spread at the point of a sword, Indonesia the state with the highest muslim population in the world , easily denies this proposterous claim. ii- the martyr in islam would be awarded with 72 virgins. There is no mention of such claim in the whole of the Quran or the Books of Hadith (sayings of the prophet SAW ) iii- The women in islam are not given equal rights, hence they are more like slaves to the muslim men. As a rebuttle i ask the western people to take a look at their national statistics in rape, illegitimate sex, premarital births and incest , and then compare their figuresto all the muslim nations of the world. Also the western media has succeeded in making women nothing more then good looding barbie dolls that are the prize of some one who follows the lifestyle they propogate. and the list goes on and on and on.
Religion & Spirituality - 8 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
I'd still rather live in the immoral nightmare you listed than as an oppressed dhimmi within an ideal Islamic society. My head's still attached to my neck despite me being me so I'm grateful kufr countries afford me this right (something Islamic utopias can't guarantee). BTW rapes are more common in the Islamic Republic of Pakistan than in western countries and rapists in western countries are disproportionately Muslim.
2 :
Actually, Jesus is the truth.
3 :
Instead of worrying about the rest of the world, I suggest Muslims take a deep hard look at their own backyard. Much of the middle east is engulfed in corruption, violence, disunity, crime, illiteracy etc. If anything, Muslims are the ones who desperately need a dose of pure Islam. So before worrying about inviting non-Muslims towards Islam, Muslims should first extend their helping hands towards their own brothers and sisters.
4 :
I reffer you to great scholar of islam....never miss it. www.truthway.tv/ http://worldmuslimmedia.com/readislam/zakir/ http://www.alhudapk.com/audio-video/assorted/default.asp www.islamqa.com good luck, never giveup.
5 :
LOL, #3 is the best. Yes Islam is the truth, but we're too stupid to follow the truth. What's our fault if your allah created us infidels with limited brains that we cannot know islam is the truth. Beating your wife is the truth, too. Burning in hell for temporary mistakes is the ultimate truth. Not having the infidels as friends is a mega truth, too. How can people be so blind and not see that marrying 4 is the truth. Yes, Islam is the truth.
6 :
remember that god did not force Adam and eve to eat from only one tree. Be the change that you want to see in the world. If Islam is the way, then surly people will follow it.
7 :
do your part... preach only that u practice... speak what is authenticated... spread Islamic knowledge even if it is a word...
8 :
Clearly misguided. Try the our father prayer - Matthew 9. This will lead you out of darkness and help you to find God through Jesus. Stop worrying about the rest of the world when you sitting in absolute darkness.
Thursday, March 28, 2013
Thursday, March 14, 2013
Do you really think I should tell my family (Not your typical coming out story)?
Do you really think I should tell my family (Not your typical coming out story)?
Someone told me, that I should tell my family about me being gay and atheist. Because, I am having a hard time, being depressed, eat too much, had too less money, spend too much, even twice suicide attempts. Yeah, I do think I have problems because I haven't told them any of this. I wasn't like this before. I guess since 3 years ago, I started getting depressed. Because I was planning to tell them at that time. But just at the day I was going to tell them, I was being told that my father was hospitalized for some serious nerve problem and I was told later that he got HIV. And so, I postponed it. I live in Indonesia, and my family are conservative Muslim who appreciated those terrorists bast*** who blast innocents people up. I'm pretty sure that if I told them, they will make a scapegoat of me saying that I was the one who infected my father with HIV, or my friends are influencing me to become atheist and started to terrorize my friends, blah blah blah. I might just tell them, but I'm kinda worried with my father's health if I told them. My father's health have deteriorate since he got HIV. And then, they will blame me again for that. He may died with the shock. And then there's my mother who are....well.....already hate me since I was a kid (As she told me). I feel......trapped. This is a very critical moment for me. I might actually doing another suicide attempts if I don't let this out, but at the same time, I might ended up accused for making someone else's life. So, this coming out thing for me, is not your typical situation. Life is being the bet here. It's not about money, or acknowledge, or friends, or anything tangible. It's about life. If I come out, it may hurt my father, and they may try to kill me (They have done so before when I told them had had sex with someone before, although I never told them what gender). But if I don't, I may end my own life, because I think I am already achieving my limit.
Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgendered - 8 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
The thing with coming out to parents is that you never know exactly how they are really going to feel. My parents said they still loved me and supported me, but they didn't prove it in their actions. I think that you are too worried about what your parents think. You should live your own life and be happy. If you want to be with someone of the same sex, that is fine. Do what you want. But debating over life and death because of it is not the right thing to do. There are so many good things out there to live for. You never know, someone may be searching for you, and will never find you if you are gone.
2 :
ok, do i don't blame you for feeling the way you do. I very much understand the way that you are feeling. What I can tell you is that there is a god who is watching over us, and who has a purpose in all our lives. dude tell your family, you will feel a lot better, and the fact that they can kill you well that is very extreme. But let me tell you something, its better that you come clean and them taking it how they want rather then just taking it into your own hands. live Your life, god gave it to you so you can live it not end it.
3 :
Wow, that's rough. For a while I tried to wait until I moved out to be open as bisexual and Transsexual. But as my acceptance of myself grew, and as I grew, playing the old closet charade so my family would be more "comfortable" drove me crazy. I decided that it's more important to me, to be comfortable with myself, than for them to be uncomfortable for two seconds while they call me my male name. So I would say tell them, maybe not both at the same time. That you are an atheist and gay. If you think your life is in danger, maybe you could express yourself in a way that doesn't directly tell them. Wear a rainbow necklace or something! Even if they don't know what it means. Good luck.
4 :
I would suggest keeping it to yourself a couple more years, give yourself a chance to understand yourself and your feeling and emotions, and by then you should be able to explain it in a way they could understand alot better and less hurtful, I say keep it in 2 more years,
5 :
Life is precious and we only get one life to live. Life will only have a meaning if we experience sadness and happiness. Just being happy all the time will make life boring. Yes, your parents sound like the root of your problem here. I believe that you do not live with them? Since you have your own place, I don't think they can kick you out of there. You need to be yourself. If your parents hate you so much, why would it even bother them if you're gay or not? Yes, they might regret giving birth to you or sue you, but if they hate you, then it shouldn't bother them because they'll simply hate you more. As a child, I know it must feel horrible to be hated by your own parents, and I won't blame you if you have attempted suicide. I know that people feel that the the people who gave them a life doesn't want them when they feel that the parents are being too silly and hateful. And that is bound to lead to depression...so we might feel that there is no point in living. Uki, I'm sure that it won't change your parents' lives if you kill yourself. So what's the point? You have to live your life for yourself...not for your parents. Sometimes things get out of hand...and when that happens, people lose control of themselves and their emotions. But that is when a person should try to help themselves more. The determination will help you out...not the people on Yahoo! Answers. You should understand that your life might be valuable to the people who love you. Your parents sound like murderers...it's better if you stay away from them. How about write them a letter and tell them? I've heard that there are LGBT organizations in Indonesia. Try to get help from them, because they make things easier. So you should contact one soon. Also, I think you should talk to someone close about how you feel. You need to let all your feelings out because they'll keep bothering you until you let them go. Did you ever feel like crying? Did you cry when you felt like that? I've learned that crying sometimes helps...it eases the pain. Do you have great friends who know that you're gay? Talk to them if you have. You can also talk to your pet when you need to...if you don't have one, get one. They're nice to have around anyway. Whatever you do, just make sure you think about it at first. Don't attempt suicide. You deserve to live and shine your light on others. Smile buddy. I possibly can't even imagine how you must be feeling, but I know it is very difficult for you. Take it as a challenge and face it. You're a winner. Remember, if you give up before you even try, you will only end up hurting yourself.Fight like a soldier. Don't worry if your parents hate you even more, because there will be someone who'll love you a lot more than you'll hope for. You should decide whether you want to come out or not. But I don't think it's really a good idea. Wait for the right time I'll say. I'm sure Allah will help you. Inshallah you'll be fine. My prayers are with you. <SmilE> *Best Wishes* ♪♣ ÄÇvÇήΠЯάў ♣♪ - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
6 :
hi dearest Uki,(sorry but i was away for a week,but i`m back now:)) i know that you`re under a lot of pressure,but with me being a muslim also,i think i can understand your situation. since your family sounds quite strict it would be dangerous to tell them,since muslims are 100% against homosexuals, i know that you`re suffering a lot,but imagine if they actually decided to punish you like muslims say, to be killed by throwing stones at,or getting 100 whips or so,(i`m not quite sure)but then, u would suffer even more right?. this all depends on how old you are,judging by your answers,i`d say that you`re old enough to leave home,perhaps you already live alone? if so just come out to your friends or family members whom you can really trust,for your sake. maybe you could study abroad?or leave Indonesia to work somewhere else? just think about what could happen if news of you being gay spread around,strict muslims can be dangerous as you know, i know that this might sound like a cowardly thing to do,but really Uki,for your sake.. We all love you here,keep that in mind,also,keep in mind that there IS someone out there for yoy,he`s just waiting,he`s probably suffering just as much as you are,just don`t give up,don`t end that other person`s dream of being loved by comitting suicide,he needs you just like you need him have faith love, god loves us all( i know u probably don`t believe it,but i dooo) god would never leave us to rot without love,love is bound to come,and when it does it`ll make up for all the stormy days you had before it,trust me;) Yours ever so truly, ~*K.C*~MUAH!=)
7 :
well it sounds like you are stuck in between a rock and a hard place. so, you fear for your life! that is something you HAVE to protect! If i were you, i would.. honestly tell them. if they do try to harm you.. simply leave. i say simply when i know it is not that simple. but you have to if they try to harm you. i don't know what to tell you other than, do it and protect yourself. at least you will have tried. BEST OF LUCK! i love you!
8 :
I would suggest you tell them from a distance and after your fathers death . It sounds to me like the rest of your family causes your depression and your father is the one holding you to the family . This depression caused by family isn't uncommon if anything it is normal even though it shouldn't be . I might suggest you speak with Ty Unsaved as he will understand exactly what you are going through being a gay ex-Muslim as well as my R&S son of whom I am extremely proud . As proud as if he were my own son .
Someone told me, that I should tell my family about me being gay and atheist. Because, I am having a hard time, being depressed, eat too much, had too less money, spend too much, even twice suicide attempts. Yeah, I do think I have problems because I haven't told them any of this. I wasn't like this before. I guess since 3 years ago, I started getting depressed. Because I was planning to tell them at that time. But just at the day I was going to tell them, I was being told that my father was hospitalized for some serious nerve problem and I was told later that he got HIV. And so, I postponed it. I live in Indonesia, and my family are conservative Muslim who appreciated those terrorists bast*** who blast innocents people up. I'm pretty sure that if I told them, they will make a scapegoat of me saying that I was the one who infected my father with HIV, or my friends are influencing me to become atheist and started to terrorize my friends, blah blah blah. I might just tell them, but I'm kinda worried with my father's health if I told them. My father's health have deteriorate since he got HIV. And then, they will blame me again for that. He may died with the shock. And then there's my mother who are....well.....already hate me since I was a kid (As she told me). I feel......trapped. This is a very critical moment for me. I might actually doing another suicide attempts if I don't let this out, but at the same time, I might ended up accused for making someone else's life. So, this coming out thing for me, is not your typical situation. Life is being the bet here. It's not about money, or acknowledge, or friends, or anything tangible. It's about life. If I come out, it may hurt my father, and they may try to kill me (They have done so before when I told them had had sex with someone before, although I never told them what gender). But if I don't, I may end my own life, because I think I am already achieving my limit.
Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgendered - 8 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
The thing with coming out to parents is that you never know exactly how they are really going to feel. My parents said they still loved me and supported me, but they didn't prove it in their actions. I think that you are too worried about what your parents think. You should live your own life and be happy. If you want to be with someone of the same sex, that is fine. Do what you want. But debating over life and death because of it is not the right thing to do. There are so many good things out there to live for. You never know, someone may be searching for you, and will never find you if you are gone.
2 :
ok, do i don't blame you for feeling the way you do. I very much understand the way that you are feeling. What I can tell you is that there is a god who is watching over us, and who has a purpose in all our lives. dude tell your family, you will feel a lot better, and the fact that they can kill you well that is very extreme. But let me tell you something, its better that you come clean and them taking it how they want rather then just taking it into your own hands. live Your life, god gave it to you so you can live it not end it.
3 :
Wow, that's rough. For a while I tried to wait until I moved out to be open as bisexual and Transsexual. But as my acceptance of myself grew, and as I grew, playing the old closet charade so my family would be more "comfortable" drove me crazy. I decided that it's more important to me, to be comfortable with myself, than for them to be uncomfortable for two seconds while they call me my male name. So I would say tell them, maybe not both at the same time. That you are an atheist and gay. If you think your life is in danger, maybe you could express yourself in a way that doesn't directly tell them. Wear a rainbow necklace or something! Even if they don't know what it means. Good luck.
4 :
I would suggest keeping it to yourself a couple more years, give yourself a chance to understand yourself and your feeling and emotions, and by then you should be able to explain it in a way they could understand alot better and less hurtful, I say keep it in 2 more years,
5 :
Life is precious and we only get one life to live. Life will only have a meaning if we experience sadness and happiness. Just being happy all the time will make life boring. Yes, your parents sound like the root of your problem here. I believe that you do not live with them? Since you have your own place, I don't think they can kick you out of there. You need to be yourself. If your parents hate you so much, why would it even bother them if you're gay or not? Yes, they might regret giving birth to you or sue you, but if they hate you, then it shouldn't bother them because they'll simply hate you more. As a child, I know it must feel horrible to be hated by your own parents, and I won't blame you if you have attempted suicide. I know that people feel that the the people who gave them a life doesn't want them when they feel that the parents are being too silly and hateful. And that is bound to lead to depression...so we might feel that there is no point in living. Uki, I'm sure that it won't change your parents' lives if you kill yourself. So what's the point? You have to live your life for yourself...not for your parents. Sometimes things get out of hand...and when that happens, people lose control of themselves and their emotions. But that is when a person should try to help themselves more. The determination will help you out...not the people on Yahoo! Answers. You should understand that your life might be valuable to the people who love you. Your parents sound like murderers...it's better if you stay away from them. How about write them a letter and tell them? I've heard that there are LGBT organizations in Indonesia. Try to get help from them, because they make things easier. So you should contact one soon. Also, I think you should talk to someone close about how you feel. You need to let all your feelings out because they'll keep bothering you until you let them go. Did you ever feel like crying? Did you cry when you felt like that? I've learned that crying sometimes helps...it eases the pain. Do you have great friends who know that you're gay? Talk to them if you have. You can also talk to your pet when you need to...if you don't have one, get one. They're nice to have around anyway. Whatever you do, just make sure you think about it at first. Don't attempt suicide. You deserve to live and shine your light on others. Smile buddy. I possibly can't even imagine how you must be feeling, but I know it is very difficult for you. Take it as a challenge and face it. You're a winner. Remember, if you give up before you even try, you will only end up hurting yourself.Fight like a soldier. Don't worry if your parents hate you even more, because there will be someone who'll love you a lot more than you'll hope for. You should decide whether you want to come out or not. But I don't think it's really a good idea. Wait for the right time I'll say. I'm sure Allah will help you. Inshallah you'll be fine. My prayers are with you. <SmilE> *Best Wishes* ♪♣ ÄÇvÇήΠЯάў ♣♪ - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
6 :
hi dearest Uki,(sorry but i was away for a week,but i`m back now:)) i know that you`re under a lot of pressure,but with me being a muslim also,i think i can understand your situation. since your family sounds quite strict it would be dangerous to tell them,since muslims are 100% against homosexuals, i know that you`re suffering a lot,but imagine if they actually decided to punish you like muslims say, to be killed by throwing stones at,or getting 100 whips or so,(i`m not quite sure)but then, u would suffer even more right?. this all depends on how old you are,judging by your answers,i`d say that you`re old enough to leave home,perhaps you already live alone? if so just come out to your friends or family members whom you can really trust,for your sake. maybe you could study abroad?or leave Indonesia to work somewhere else? just think about what could happen if news of you being gay spread around,strict muslims can be dangerous as you know, i know that this might sound like a cowardly thing to do,but really Uki,for your sake.. We all love you here,keep that in mind,also,keep in mind that there IS someone out there for yoy,he`s just waiting,he`s probably suffering just as much as you are,just don`t give up,don`t end that other person`s dream of being loved by comitting suicide,he needs you just like you need him have faith love, god loves us all( i know u probably don`t believe it,but i dooo) god would never leave us to rot without love,love is bound to come,and when it does it`ll make up for all the stormy days you had before it,trust me;) Yours ever so truly, ~*K.C*~MUAH!=)
7 :
well it sounds like you are stuck in between a rock and a hard place. so, you fear for your life! that is something you HAVE to protect! If i were you, i would.. honestly tell them. if they do try to harm you.. simply leave. i say simply when i know it is not that simple. but you have to if they try to harm you. i don't know what to tell you other than, do it and protect yourself. at least you will have tried. BEST OF LUCK! i love you!
8 :
I would suggest you tell them from a distance and after your fathers death . It sounds to me like the rest of your family causes your depression and your father is the one holding you to the family . This depression caused by family isn't uncommon if anything it is normal even though it shouldn't be . I might suggest you speak with Ty Unsaved as he will understand exactly what you are going through being a gay ex-Muslim as well as my R&S son of whom I am extremely proud . As proud as if he were my own son .
Thursday, March 7, 2013
28 years old musician/songwriter, should I go overseas (international) to pursue my utmost music dreams?
28 years old musician/songwriter, should I go overseas (international) to pursue my utmost music dreams?
Long story short, I have somewhat regretted a lot of my youthful times by following parents' wants & expectations. I feel very tired with staying in my 7-years day job in a factory, and feel that I've wasted so much of my potentials, by doing what my parents expect/told me to do. Now I certainly am not a bragging type of person,.but truth be told, many (if not all) people have told me that I have a "rare, unique" music talents. I can play piano (classical & jazz), keyboard, guitar, bass guitar, I also love to write songs & compose many different genres of music, including orchestral/symphony pieces for movies or video games type. My ongoing problem/dilemma is that for my type of music, unfortunately, I don't think it would be popular or appreciated by mainstream people in my home country here (I'm in Indonesia). My music style does involve an electronic and also orchestra/symphonic & jazz tunes combined altogether. And I've always felt (also after listening to some friends' stories) that I might have a BETTER chances at overseas countries, than in my home country, because my music would fit a LARGER market/audience there & got more appreciations than here. However, what I'm always afraid and in constant questions is 2 things: 1. is it too LATE already, let's say, if I just "burn the bridges" and boldly go to overseas country and basically "start from zero", but with a probability of a better chances? 2. HOW or from WHERE should I start? should I BEST start by going back to Music school, and make a network/connections there? or it's not that necessary? also I'm afraid the problems is Money...and plus, I have to be ready if my parents totally reject my idea and view it as 'crazy, unrealistic' , and hence use my OWN money..! Or should I just go the 'thick-skinned' way of finding out & knocking out every producer or label's door on that overseas country, showing my music demos, in a HOPE for someone to really take notice for my talents and give me a chance/opportunity?? (I know one Indonesian artist/singer Anggun C. Sasmi who're actually succeed now because she used THIS kind of 'thick-skinned' way, and now she's quite popular internationally, and her talents got truly appreciated instead of going to major waste!) OR, should I really, really take the commonly-suggested more 'conventional, safer' way of : try making a head start at my own home country (regardless of whether mainstream people would appreciate my music or not), while keep doing my music compositions/songwritings, and when there's a CHANCE, *then* I go to that overseas country? But the problem is I'm afraid that I'll just WASTE even more times here in a country which I (& some of my music teachers & experts' opinions & suggestion to me) certainly KNOW that the market for my music is just very very terribly small,...whereas I KNOW that my music style could better be much more appreciated overseas/internationally! (oh, and I also always write/compose in English language, for my every song). I basically just need a really really sound, workable, practical advices & insights on what should I do at this time, and better be quick,..because I'm NOT that young anymore, and I certainly don't want to end up in my 30's getting into a soul-crushing office/business type of jobs 'forced down' my throat by my 'practical, very pragmatic-minded' parents (they even already put soo much pressures nowadays for me "get real" and have "real job", get married, have kids, house, all those kind of 'normal life' things, while I still don't want that!). I don't want my dreams to get crushed & forever buried, and I'll end up crying & resenting my life, like what I've read so many people on their 40s, 50s on the internet forums! I want to be the BEST, fullest of me, and share my insights to the world thru my music talents & passion! please help!!
Singing - 1 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
run away and live the dream ;) u may get only 1 shot at life, so go for it, have an adventure!
Long story short, I have somewhat regretted a lot of my youthful times by following parents' wants & expectations. I feel very tired with staying in my 7-years day job in a factory, and feel that I've wasted so much of my potentials, by doing what my parents expect/told me to do. Now I certainly am not a bragging type of person,.but truth be told, many (if not all) people have told me that I have a "rare, unique" music talents. I can play piano (classical & jazz), keyboard, guitar, bass guitar, I also love to write songs & compose many different genres of music, including orchestral/symphony pieces for movies or video games type. My ongoing problem/dilemma is that for my type of music, unfortunately, I don't think it would be popular or appreciated by mainstream people in my home country here (I'm in Indonesia). My music style does involve an electronic and also orchestra/symphonic & jazz tunes combined altogether. And I've always felt (also after listening to some friends' stories) that I might have a BETTER chances at overseas countries, than in my home country, because my music would fit a LARGER market/audience there & got more appreciations than here. However, what I'm always afraid and in constant questions is 2 things: 1. is it too LATE already, let's say, if I just "burn the bridges" and boldly go to overseas country and basically "start from zero", but with a probability of a better chances? 2. HOW or from WHERE should I start? should I BEST start by going back to Music school, and make a network/connections there? or it's not that necessary? also I'm afraid the problems is Money...and plus, I have to be ready if my parents totally reject my idea and view it as 'crazy, unrealistic' , and hence use my OWN money..! Or should I just go the 'thick-skinned' way of finding out & knocking out every producer or label's door on that overseas country, showing my music demos, in a HOPE for someone to really take notice for my talents and give me a chance/opportunity?? (I know one Indonesian artist/singer Anggun C. Sasmi who're actually succeed now because she used THIS kind of 'thick-skinned' way, and now she's quite popular internationally, and her talents got truly appreciated instead of going to major waste!) OR, should I really, really take the commonly-suggested more 'conventional, safer' way of : try making a head start at my own home country (regardless of whether mainstream people would appreciate my music or not), while keep doing my music compositions/songwritings, and when there's a CHANCE, *then* I go to that overseas country? But the problem is I'm afraid that I'll just WASTE even more times here in a country which I (& some of my music teachers & experts' opinions & suggestion to me) certainly KNOW that the market for my music is just very very terribly small,...whereas I KNOW that my music style could better be much more appreciated overseas/internationally! (oh, and I also always write/compose in English language, for my every song). I basically just need a really really sound, workable, practical advices & insights on what should I do at this time, and better be quick,..because I'm NOT that young anymore, and I certainly don't want to end up in my 30's getting into a soul-crushing office/business type of jobs 'forced down' my throat by my 'practical, very pragmatic-minded' parents (they even already put soo much pressures nowadays for me "get real" and have "real job", get married, have kids, house, all those kind of 'normal life' things, while I still don't want that!). I don't want my dreams to get crushed & forever buried, and I'll end up crying & resenting my life, like what I've read so many people on their 40s, 50s on the internet forums! I want to be the BEST, fullest of me, and share my insights to the world thru my music talents & passion! please help!!
Singing - 1 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
run away and live the dream ;) u may get only 1 shot at life, so go for it, have an adventure!
Friday, March 1, 2013
Should i continue the family business, or pursue my dream & potential?
Should i continue the family business, or pursue my dream & potential?
Some of you here who've followed many of my questions in Fluther would perhaps already know that my passion has always been music. There's not a single day (even probably hour) that goes by without my head constantly think (& imagining) new musical ideas. And not only that, but also some professional music industry people, locally & overseas, as well as people here who've seen & heard my music all already told me that i have this 'unusual rare' talent in music, being that i can compose, songwrite, and arrange many types of music, including symphony, jazz, and even some 'out-of-this-world' kind of music. Now some short story of mine: ever since I've graduated from U.S in 2003 (in a wrong major that I have almost zero interest, just because I was still too naive back then & just follow what my dad & uncle told me. My major was in Business Finance & Management), I've come back to my home country (Indonesia), and straight away worked in the family-business for about 7 years now. During those times, in the free time I managed to pursue my passion in music by forming band, but unfortunately, it kept failing several times (now that I've learned a lot, I do think that it's mostly because I still very lacking experience back then & just simply didn't know what to do, not to mention the members were all not too good in their skill playings etc). The problem is this: my 'free-spirited', musical, creative & people-oriented personality is soo dominating, that as time passed by, I unfortuately grew more dislike toward my family-business, and last year I even went to a psychiatrist alone,...still without solving anything. There were also some *heavy* regrets,..that I've "wasted" so much time by not being firm & bold telling my parents (especially my dad) that I wanted to try out new things 1st, all before I've decided to sit & run/manage the family-business! I've always thought of going to China to study mandarin, I've even thought of following few of my friends' stories/path to go to Japan, or U.K, to try to make a "break through" or career in music. However, I didn't do ALL of them, simply because I'm a coward who's very *scared* to be bold & taking risks, & confronting my parents about what I really want to do/try in life. Because I thought I don't want to hurt their feelings by being 'selfish', 'naive kid' etc. It's only very recently (after all these 7 years), that my parents seem to start paying attention to my ever-burning music passion, yet I can sense that my dad only wants me to work in the "BIG business" aspect of the music 'industry', such as to be the big music labels like SONY. I always thought that that's just so unrealistic, that he (my dad) only want to see the 'big success' side without wanting to see the small little steps that have to be taken to achieve that! And besides, my talent & passion is in the *MUSIC* aspect, not the *business* aspect. A lot of people have told me I make very good, touching, & unique music. I also seem to be very good in teaching & being patient working with people,..but all my dad wants is for me to be the 180-degrees opposite of me: to become a succesful businessman, with a BIG money. I can somewhat understand when he said that "everything in this life needs money! from cars, house, etc" (we're a medium-well type of family in terms of wealth). So I am very torn now. What should I really be doing? Should I pursue my music dreams, or should I continue putting my 'mask' & continue running the family business (in which *everybody* already know I have zero passion in it, and hence, is being "lazy" and doing all things "half-efforts") ? I have a strong, solid vision to write, and collaborate with musicians overseas (I write english lyrics), and try post 'em in Myspace, Youtube, iTunes etc, in hoping there'll be music producers overseas who's interested in me & my music. While if I were to stay in this family-business for another 2, 3, or i-don't-know-how-many-years, EVERYBODY including my dad already know that I "don't go *anywhere* or not progressing at all!" But the only thing that I'm still very confused is: who'll continue the family-business then? I have two little brothers, but they're also interested in other things than running the family-business. While my uncle & cousin in the business actually have talked/suggested for my father to sell his share of the business, so he can get the money, to perhaps finance other businesses, or even to help me in pursuing my music dreams. What should I do? I am almost 28 yrs old now, and I really hate the fact that I can get really depressed these days, confused, and not making any progress in music, because of all these overwhelming thoughts! I hate to always burdening my parents in financial needs, yet on another side, I can't hide that I am also scared/unsure of my future in music, ie: "can I make it?...no matter how much I BELIEVE in my talent & music vision,..what if *ALL things* are against me?? and
Family - 5 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
Wow, it sounds like you have alot of talent. But I also know how hard it is to leave a business, especially a family one. But if music is what you feel you should do, no matter how hard it is you should pursue it. Life is short... doing what gets the most money is not always best, because in the end, what does money matter? I think you should pursue music.
2 :
pursue your dream
3 :
Write songs for now and get them published. Then if you are good enough, make the family business a side line and devote all of your time in the music business. Take some music classes on-line to learn the basics and proceed from there. All it takes is one song to catch on and then you will make enough money to form a band of your own. Good luck.
4 :
Your father is right in saying that everything costs money. You need a steady income, but you also need to use your talents. You don't want to live a life full of regret, always wondering if you could have been a successful musician. The fact that you would be doing what you love will give you an edge when you have to compete. It will make it possible for you to create beautiful music that many people will love, which is something you have already done. Is there a way to involve your music abilities in the family business? If not, you might want to start making contacts in the music industry and ask for advice on what to do next. Find out what is in demand. Who knows, maybe you will be the next John Williams. Take some action today.
5 :
It is not a easy question to be answered. It is all about your life. A simple success formula in life is : "Do what you Love". if you love music then you can do it. believe in yourself. never lose your control. In money aspect, yes we can not live without money but Money is not everything in life. if you think you can do then money will come behind you. Do not run behind the money. Run behind your dream that you can achieve success in your life. thanks
Some of you here who've followed many of my questions in Fluther would perhaps already know that my passion has always been music. There's not a single day (even probably hour) that goes by without my head constantly think (& imagining) new musical ideas. And not only that, but also some professional music industry people, locally & overseas, as well as people here who've seen & heard my music all already told me that i have this 'unusual rare' talent in music, being that i can compose, songwrite, and arrange many types of music, including symphony, jazz, and even some 'out-of-this-world' kind of music. Now some short story of mine: ever since I've graduated from U.S in 2003 (in a wrong major that I have almost zero interest, just because I was still too naive back then & just follow what my dad & uncle told me. My major was in Business Finance & Management), I've come back to my home country (Indonesia), and straight away worked in the family-business for about 7 years now. During those times, in the free time I managed to pursue my passion in music by forming band, but unfortunately, it kept failing several times (now that I've learned a lot, I do think that it's mostly because I still very lacking experience back then & just simply didn't know what to do, not to mention the members were all not too good in their skill playings etc). The problem is this: my 'free-spirited', musical, creative & people-oriented personality is soo dominating, that as time passed by, I unfortuately grew more dislike toward my family-business, and last year I even went to a psychiatrist alone,...still without solving anything. There were also some *heavy* regrets,..that I've "wasted" so much time by not being firm & bold telling my parents (especially my dad) that I wanted to try out new things 1st, all before I've decided to sit & run/manage the family-business! I've always thought of going to China to study mandarin, I've even thought of following few of my friends' stories/path to go to Japan, or U.K, to try to make a "break through" or career in music. However, I didn't do ALL of them, simply because I'm a coward who's very *scared* to be bold & taking risks, & confronting my parents about what I really want to do/try in life. Because I thought I don't want to hurt their feelings by being 'selfish', 'naive kid' etc. It's only very recently (after all these 7 years), that my parents seem to start paying attention to my ever-burning music passion, yet I can sense that my dad only wants me to work in the "BIG business" aspect of the music 'industry', such as to be the big music labels like SONY. I always thought that that's just so unrealistic, that he (my dad) only want to see the 'big success' side without wanting to see the small little steps that have to be taken to achieve that! And besides, my talent & passion is in the *MUSIC* aspect, not the *business* aspect. A lot of people have told me I make very good, touching, & unique music. I also seem to be very good in teaching & being patient working with people,..but all my dad wants is for me to be the 180-degrees opposite of me: to become a succesful businessman, with a BIG money. I can somewhat understand when he said that "everything in this life needs money! from cars, house, etc" (we're a medium-well type of family in terms of wealth). So I am very torn now. What should I really be doing? Should I pursue my music dreams, or should I continue putting my 'mask' & continue running the family business (in which *everybody* already know I have zero passion in it, and hence, is being "lazy" and doing all things "half-efforts") ? I have a strong, solid vision to write, and collaborate with musicians overseas (I write english lyrics), and try post 'em in Myspace, Youtube, iTunes etc, in hoping there'll be music producers overseas who's interested in me & my music. While if I were to stay in this family-business for another 2, 3, or i-don't-know-how-many-years, EVERYBODY including my dad already know that I "don't go *anywhere* or not progressing at all!" But the only thing that I'm still very confused is: who'll continue the family-business then? I have two little brothers, but they're also interested in other things than running the family-business. While my uncle & cousin in the business actually have talked/suggested for my father to sell his share of the business, so he can get the money, to perhaps finance other businesses, or even to help me in pursuing my music dreams. What should I do? I am almost 28 yrs old now, and I really hate the fact that I can get really depressed these days, confused, and not making any progress in music, because of all these overwhelming thoughts! I hate to always burdening my parents in financial needs, yet on another side, I can't hide that I am also scared/unsure of my future in music, ie: "can I make it?...no matter how much I BELIEVE in my talent & music vision,..what if *ALL things* are against me?? and
Family - 5 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
Wow, it sounds like you have alot of talent. But I also know how hard it is to leave a business, especially a family one. But if music is what you feel you should do, no matter how hard it is you should pursue it. Life is short... doing what gets the most money is not always best, because in the end, what does money matter? I think you should pursue music.
2 :
pursue your dream
3 :
Write songs for now and get them published. Then if you are good enough, make the family business a side line and devote all of your time in the music business. Take some music classes on-line to learn the basics and proceed from there. All it takes is one song to catch on and then you will make enough money to form a band of your own. Good luck.
4 :
Your father is right in saying that everything costs money. You need a steady income, but you also need to use your talents. You don't want to live a life full of regret, always wondering if you could have been a successful musician. The fact that you would be doing what you love will give you an edge when you have to compete. It will make it possible for you to create beautiful music that many people will love, which is something you have already done. Is there a way to involve your music abilities in the family business? If not, you might want to start making contacts in the music industry and ask for advice on what to do next. Find out what is in demand. Who knows, maybe you will be the next John Williams. Take some action today.
5 :
It is not a easy question to be answered. It is all about your life. A simple success formula in life is : "Do what you Love". if you love music then you can do it. believe in yourself. never lose your control. In money aspect, yes we can not live without money but Money is not everything in life. if you think you can do then money will come behind you. Do not run behind the money. Run behind your dream that you can achieve success in your life. thanks
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