What the hell went wrong here...?
Ok.. Well.. Im just going to start from the beginning.. I was born in Van Nuys California. When i turned 3 my parents divorced and after that i switched through my parents week to week, basically i did one week with my mom and then the next week with my dad etc. etc. My dad has always had more money than my mom.. Until i was about 11 or 12 i was growing up in Canoga Park going to public school.. which is a predominately Mexican area.. My dad is french and one day out of the blue he wanted to move to france. I felt this big pressure to go, as if i had no choice because everyone was encouraging me to go, even my mom! Well i went to france and soon realized that i couldn't speak any french at all.. I went to a bilingual private school.. i wasn't hard to make friends but it was hard to keep up in school.. one of the more important subjects, math, was taught in french and i didnt understand anything! as a result my grades struggled. My dad also had a psycho for a wife, i did not like her one bit i hated her so bad. Well after i finished my school year i went to go back to live with my mom. The thing is though that she moved and was no longer in Canoga park so there was no chance i could see my old friends. I went to public school again (thank god) for about a year. I nearly failed the sixth grade because i was still struggling from grade 5. Turns out that after i left france my dad got a job offer in indonesia. I went to visit during my winter break and found out that he divorced his psycho wife.. I was pretty happy she was gone and upon returning to america i told my mom i wanted to live with my dad. Well here i am now in indonesia, 15 yrs old and a lame f.u.c.k. I'm still struggling from grade 5 and im in grade 10 now nearly on to grade 11! Im depressed n s.h.i.t.. I hate the people in my school because all of them are rich f.u.c.k.s all of them are arrogant ignorant a.s.s.h.o.l.e.s they worry about the most insignificant things and it seems like all of them have bad intentions. I probably have like 2-3 real friends now. My grades are dropping too fast for me to pick up, my final exams already started. This winter i visited my mom and other relatives for the first time in 5 years. I was so sad when i returned.. all the things i missed.. My older brother was not how i remembered him. last time i saw him he was 22 or 23 now hes 27 and has a 4 year old daughter (well 4 in april). My older sister was no longer a teenager, she was 21. My cousins who where 1 or 2 years apart from me were all different. They weren't little kids anymore. Their voices had changed. My aunt had a 3 year old son that i never met in my life. I felt so sad about all the things i missed.. now i'm back in indonesia, and im thinking, what am i living here for? i'm wasting my time here, i'm not going to become anything great. I should just go back to Canoga Park where all my family is (except my mom, and my mom is legally poor according to the government.).. I don't fit in in this place, private school is not for me and the way people act here, im about to kill someone soon.. What do you guys think? What went wrong? What should i do? Also my dad is nowhere near understanding.. I get bad grades, he screams at me, when i get good grades he just does a little grunt and barely acknowledges it.. and everytime i get bad grades he threatens to send me back to america (i would take it as a gift) and he says ' if you want to go live with the 'winners' (he always makes fun of my moms family because they're poor.) in LA be my guest' and now that i have exams i try to make him happy at least and make it seem he isn't wasting his money sending me to private school (he is wasting his money by the way because i could care less about my education) so the other day after my english exam i said ' i wrote a s.h.i.t.l.o.a.d' and he was like 'a s.h.i.t.l.o.a.d? more like you took a s.h.i.t.' I feel like he doesnt even think i can do good. I know i cant do good. Once again, What do you guys think went wrong? What should i do? O damn thats the funniest joke i've ever heard. Where can i buy gas X by the way? Snore. please lick my sack
Psychology - 2 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
I think the move to Indonesia was the big mistake.Get back to America,reconnect with your family and start caring about life again.You DON'T care about it THERE,which makes you similar to many of the natives of that place! The past is gone,but the future is yours.Go back to the family that will love you again and the way of life that YOU will love again.
2 :
i agree with zen. it's not your fault that you had a broken childhood. the only mistake that i can see that you made is that you trusted other people more than yourself and chose to go to france with your dad. it was really hard and you fell under the pressure. the constant moving combined with not knowing french messed up your education. your dad sounds like a jerk but he likely has a busy schedule and works really hard. it probably seems to him that you're spoiled, unappreciative and lazy. i am not saying he's right because it seems like he doesn't try to understand or be sympathetic. i think you should make some time to be by yourself where you can think clearly and think about what you want and how to get there. is the private school Indonesia going to help you get there? you might want to make a pros and cons list for clarity. LA vs indonesia. if you decide to stay think of ways to make it easier. do NOT do it for your father but for yourself. you will probably have to work extra to catch up, you could possibly take a few extra classes or have a tutor or study up on your free time. if you decide to leave make sure you have fair plan of what you want to do in la. which school do you want to go to? what are you passionate about? what makes you happy? it might be a good idea to ask your father for a certain portion of the money he's paying for private school. you could use this to help pay through college and anything else you need. not trying to judge but having a counselor or psychologist might help support you emotionally. it's seems like you're surrounded by a lot of negativity(particularly your father) and someone that will be there for you could really help. make sure you think hard about your options before you decide. no matter which decision you make you will most likely have to talk to your father about it. it's hard but it's important to try to stay calm and not curse or yell. he seems more like the practical uncaring type and emotions and profanity might really anger him. explain to him what you plan to do and why. you could tell him that you feel overwhelmed and depressed. try to help him understand how you feel. if he tries to understand or listens to you then their might be hope for you two to connect. if he dismisses you or ridicules you it's likely that he'll never understand or care enough to. if that happens then it's best to avoid him as much as possible and train yourself to not be hurt or be affected by what he says. the thing that matters most is that you're happy. people come and go civilizations come and go. money and power matter only if you're happy. you can be really rich and still be miserable. hope this helps and that you live a full and happy life. goodluck. : ) ps: these quotes might help. "Use soft words and hard arguments." English Proverb "Against criticism a man can neither protest nor defend himself; he must act in spite of it, and then it will gradually yield to him." Johann Wolfgang von Goethe "With reasonable men I will reason; with humane men I will plea; but to tyrants I will give no quarter, nor waste arguments where they will certainly be lost." William Lloyd Garrison "The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts." Bertrand Russell "I can't give you a sure-fire formula for success, but I can give you a formula for failure: try to please everybody all the time." Herbert Bayard Swope "Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm." Sir Winston Churchill "It is pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness; poverty and wealth have both failed." Kin Hubbard "Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony." Mahatma Gandhi
