How to tell her how I feel?
I've got a housemate who I knew for a year before we moved in together. She's a year older than me and is from indonesia. But she's a very tough girl who fancies herself a punk (of the current mode). I used to look up to her during our year together at the dorms, but as we began to look for a house to escape the student slums, the more I began to realise her flaws. I know she had always looked out for me, but whenever I said no to something, she gets pissed. She holds the anger and continues to show it to me. She didn't think at that one time that signing the contract immediately after the showing of the house (without consulting my parents--who said no), is the most dumbest idea ever. When I said no, she didn't talk to me, except with words such as "Your parents better find a house for us 'cause I have enough looking around!" Looking back, I would have shoved her back with an arguement. But at that time I felt ashamed and terrible for disappointing her. Still, we did get a better house in the end, but my parents made sure to tell her that since they're the ones paying more than she did ('she said she can do 300£ as payment to the rent--but at the last minute she changed it to 200£ for some reason) my parents put it firm that anything happens they had to be notified and consulted. But by the first month I saw that she was pushing the first years into checking out the house for renting, despite that my parents said no because that woud change the contract, the price, when our landlord practically goes around as if we don't exist. ESPECIALLY when I found out that she was planning to not split it equally between the potential three of us, but only between her and the new roomie. Despite that last year, she was able to pay more for her rent in the dorms, and the money she was getting hasn't changed. She's getting a government grant, and I had to depend on my work and parents. Nonetheless, I had sent the roomates packing with tales on how the house sucks. And she hadn't done it again. Now, however, she is playing as a stepford 'hostess'. She buys a lot of the food, sure, and had spent two hours making the marinade for the meat, but I had to come with her and wound up carrying groceries without a word. Then, after waking up early and spending the morning clearing up the kitchen, sweeping the living room and tidying my bathroom (which she keeps insisting her guests to use rather than her own), then I go out to take my friends to a furniture faire as I had promised. I come back at 1 and found the house empty and everything looking the same and untouched. She comes in, in her best clothes, and starts having her friends over to order about in the preparation of some guy's birthday. I had to take her friends to the supermarket nearest to where we live since she wouldn't do it, and when we came back, she was STILL walking around with her make-up and good clothes while her other guests are preparing the food and cleaning up the mess. I find this very rude and shallow. It's not how people of her culture do it, I've been invited to enough parties to see how it's done, and I was shocked how alot of the help was mostly me and her friends, and not her. I feel like dragging her back in the kitchen and telling her that it's her task to do all this, is there any way I can open her eyes that I find this really insulting?
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Come right out and tell her if you dont then she will just keep doing it and it will bother you more and more.
