Do you really think I should tell my family (Not your typical coming out story)?
Someone told me, that I should tell my family about me being gay and atheist. Because, I am having a hard time, being depressed, eat too much, had too less money, spend too much, even twice suicide attempts. Yeah, I do think I have problems because I haven't told them any of this. I wasn't like this before. I guess since 3 years ago, I started getting depressed. Because I was planning to tell them at that time. But just at the day I was going to tell them, I was being told that my father was hospitalized for some serious nerve problem and I was told later that he got HIV. And so, I postponed it. I live in Indonesia, and my family are conservative Muslim who appreciated those terrorists bast*** who blast innocents people up. I'm pretty sure that if I told them, they will make a scapegoat of me saying that I was the one who infected my father with HIV, or my friends are influencing me to become atheist and started to terrorize my friends, blah blah blah. I might just tell them, but I'm kinda worried with my father's health if I told them. My father's health have deteriorate since he got HIV. And then, they will blame me again for that. He may died with the shock. And then there's my mother who are....well.....already hate me since I was a kid (As she told me). I feel......trapped. This is a very critical moment for me. I might actually doing another suicide attempts if I don't let this out, but at the same time, I might ended up accused for making someone else's life. So, this coming out thing for me, is not your typical situation. Life is being the bet here. It's not about money, or acknowledge, or friends, or anything tangible. It's about life. If I come out, it may hurt my father, and they may try to kill me (They have done so before when I told them had had sex with someone before, although I never told them what gender). But if I don't, I may end my own life, because I think I am already achieving my limit.
Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgendered - 8 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
The thing with coming out to parents is that you never know exactly how they are really going to feel. My parents said they still loved me and supported me, but they didn't prove it in their actions. I think that you are too worried about what your parents think. You should live your own life and be happy. If you want to be with someone of the same sex, that is fine. Do what you want. But debating over life and death because of it is not the right thing to do. There are so many good things out there to live for. You never know, someone may be searching for you, and will never find you if you are gone.
2 :
ok, do i don't blame you for feeling the way you do. I very much understand the way that you are feeling. What I can tell you is that there is a god who is watching over us, and who has a purpose in all our lives. dude tell your family, you will feel a lot better, and the fact that they can kill you well that is very extreme. But let me tell you something, its better that you come clean and them taking it how they want rather then just taking it into your own hands. live Your life, god gave it to you so you can live it not end it.
3 :
Wow, that's rough. For a while I tried to wait until I moved out to be open as bisexual and Transsexual. But as my acceptance of myself grew, and as I grew, playing the old closet charade so my family would be more "comfortable" drove me crazy. I decided that it's more important to me, to be comfortable with myself, than for them to be uncomfortable for two seconds while they call me my male name. So I would say tell them, maybe not both at the same time. That you are an atheist and gay. If you think your life is in danger, maybe you could express yourself in a way that doesn't directly tell them. Wear a rainbow necklace or something! Even if they don't know what it means. Good luck.
4 :
I would suggest keeping it to yourself a couple more years, give yourself a chance to understand yourself and your feeling and emotions, and by then you should be able to explain it in a way they could understand alot better and less hurtful, I say keep it in 2 more years,
5 :
Life is precious and we only get one life to live. Life will only have a meaning if we experience sadness and happiness. Just being happy all the time will make life boring. Yes, your parents sound like the root of your problem here. I believe that you do not live with them? Since you have your own place, I don't think they can kick you out of there. You need to be yourself. If your parents hate you so much, why would it even bother them if you're gay or not? Yes, they might regret giving birth to you or sue you, but if they hate you, then it shouldn't bother them because they'll simply hate you more. As a child, I know it must feel horrible to be hated by your own parents, and I won't blame you if you have attempted suicide. I know that people feel that the the people who gave them a life doesn't want them when they feel that the parents are being too silly and hateful. And that is bound to lead to depression...so we might feel that there is no point in living. Uki, I'm sure that it won't change your parents' lives if you kill yourself. So what's the point? You have to live your life for yourself...not for your parents. Sometimes things get out of hand...and when that happens, people lose control of themselves and their emotions. But that is when a person should try to help themselves more. The determination will help you out...not the people on Yahoo! Answers. You should understand that your life might be valuable to the people who love you. Your parents sound like murderers...it's better if you stay away from them. How about write them a letter and tell them? I've heard that there are LGBT organizations in Indonesia. Try to get help from them, because they make things easier. So you should contact one soon. Also, I think you should talk to someone close about how you feel. You need to let all your feelings out because they'll keep bothering you until you let them go. Did you ever feel like crying? Did you cry when you felt like that? I've learned that crying sometimes helps...it eases the pain. Do you have great friends who know that you're gay? Talk to them if you have. You can also talk to your pet when you need to...if you don't have one, get one. They're nice to have around anyway. Whatever you do, just make sure you think about it at first. Don't attempt suicide. You deserve to live and shine your light on others. Smile buddy. I possibly can't even imagine how you must be feeling, but I know it is very difficult for you. Take it as a challenge and face it. You're a winner. Remember, if you give up before you even try, you will only end up hurting yourself.Fight like a soldier. Don't worry if your parents hate you even more, because there will be someone who'll love you a lot more than you'll hope for. You should decide whether you want to come out or not. But I don't think it's really a good idea. Wait for the right time I'll say. I'm sure Allah will help you. Inshallah you'll be fine. My prayers are with you. <SmilE> *Best Wishes* ♪♣ ÄÇvÇήΠЯάў ♣♪ - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
6 :
hi dearest Uki,(sorry but i was away for a week,but i`m back now:)) i know that you`re under a lot of pressure,but with me being a muslim also,i think i can understand your situation. since your family sounds quite strict it would be dangerous to tell them,since muslims are 100% against homosexuals, i know that you`re suffering a lot,but imagine if they actually decided to punish you like muslims say, to be killed by throwing stones at,or getting 100 whips or so,(i`m not quite sure)but then, u would suffer even more right?. this all depends on how old you are,judging by your answers,i`d say that you`re old enough to leave home,perhaps you already live alone? if so just come out to your friends or family members whom you can really trust,for your sake. maybe you could study abroad?or leave Indonesia to work somewhere else? just think about what could happen if news of you being gay spread around,strict muslims can be dangerous as you know, i know that this might sound like a cowardly thing to do,but really Uki,for your sake.. We all love you here,keep that in mind,also,keep in mind that there IS someone out there for yoy,he`s just waiting,he`s probably suffering just as much as you are,just don`t give up,don`t end that other person`s dream of being loved by comitting suicide,he needs you just like you need him have faith love, god loves us all( i know u probably don`t believe it,but i dooo) god would never leave us to rot without love,love is bound to come,and when it does it`ll make up for all the stormy days you had before it,trust me;) Yours ever so truly, ~*K.C*~MUAH!=)
7 :
well it sounds like you are stuck in between a rock and a hard place. so, you fear for your life! that is something you HAVE to protect! If i were you, i would.. honestly tell them. if they do try to harm you.. simply leave. i say simply when i know it is not that simple. but you have to if they try to harm you. i don't know what to tell you other than, do it and protect yourself. at least you will have tried. BEST OF LUCK! i love you!
8 :
I would suggest you tell them from a distance and after your fathers death . It sounds to me like the rest of your family causes your depression and your father is the one holding you to the family . This depression caused by family isn't uncommon if anything it is normal even though it shouldn't be . I might suggest you speak with Ty Unsaved as he will understand exactly what you are going through being a gay ex-Muslim as well as my R&S son of whom I am extremely proud . As proud as if he were my own son .
